Now I know there is a growing movement about women choosing not to be a mother. There are benefits to not being a mother. Let’s explore a few..

Sleep. Blissful, uninterrupted sleep. Not needing to wipe any bottom – except your own. Your hands – soft – not rough and aged from washing them after touching aforementioned bottoms or grimy kids hands. No one walking in whilst you grab 5 seconds to actually go to the loo screaming “Mummmaaaaay Roxie hitttttt meeeeeeeeee”. Your car, clean – smells fresh – not full of crumbs, vomit or smeary finger-marks. Your jeans, without knee-holes from bending down to pick up someone elses mess. Your tops – embellished with sequins – not drops of baby vomit or smeared toddler food. Your hair – blow dried to within an inch if it’s life – not one hair out of place – and not pulled or so greasy you could cook chips in it. The food you cook, remains on a plate – not liberally littered around the kitchen, getting into places you didn’t even know existed. Your cutlery, gets used – you never have to witness the grossness of eating rice with fingers.  Your cloakroom, has coats hanging in it – as opposed to strewn all over the floor after a day of school. Your Sky Box not full to capacity with CBeebies, Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network horrors. Your treat cupboard. What treat cupboard – who can have treats around and keep THIS body looking THIS good? Oh about THE body – no stretch marks, no empty pouches for breasts, no cuts, no stitches, no flapping, overstretched lady-bits. Yes, there are many, many benefits.

BUT, and this is a GIANT BUT – the cuddles, the love, the innocence, the cute things they say, the way they look adoringly at you (unless you have told them off) and much more more MORE – I’m pleased I choose motherhood. Well, either way, I’m knee-deep in it now….

Seriously though – I wouldn’t change it for the world. So to that end Mammas, let us be celebrated on our one day this year – Mother’s Day. And here’s what I propose you deserve.

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