21 Ways You know Your Kids are Drama Queens

Inspired by one of my twins’ dramatic/hysterical refusal to go on a school outing yesterday for fear of travel boredom, I thought we would try something different today! I have written a few opinion pieces for the UK Huffington Post and I wanted to share my most recent – 21 Reason’s You Know Your Kids Are Drama Queens as it felt fitting, given yesterday morning’s incident. Let us start counting the ways..

Huffington Post Article Kids Parenting

1. If they are told off, they throw themselves on the floor and their body takes the form of one of those crime-scene body chalk shapes. You know they are alive and well, largely due to the stamping of their feet and guttural animal sounds that are emitting from their mouths. Usually the word “Hug”.

Huffington Post Article Kids Parenting

2. They seem to know about the art of Lamaze breathing to calm down. No, they are not at birthing age – they are dramatic. Trigger statements include “We’re going to the dentist tomorrow” or “You need an injection” and breathe…

Huffington Post Article Kids Parenting

3. Rolling of the eyes started just after birth – around the time they learnt to focus their eyes. Example – you say “Don’t hit your sister again – do you understand?” and cue prolonged eyeroll. If you’re lucky, you’ll be treated to the full whites of the eyeball eyeroll – this is a level 2 eyeroll.

Huffington Post Article Kids Parenting

4. They use the word O.M.G accompanied by hands on hips in perfect context before they are potty trained or know their colours.

Huffington Post Article Kids Parenting

5. Stomach aches. They have stomachaches every day. Usually when asked to do something that doesn’t suit them.

Huffington Post Article Kids Parenting

6. They have learnt that slamming doors is not as effective as leaving them ever so slightly ajar. I’m slightly proud of that one.

Huffington Post Article Kids Parenting

7. You have a floaty dressing gown or dress they like to wear whilst walking at speed from one room to another so the train floats up in the air in their wake. Makes for a great, dramatic exit.

Huffington Post Article Kids Parenting

8. When upset by something, anything, everything – they fold their arms and stick their noses up in the air and then proceed to storm off. This move is much better if wearing the aforementioned floaty dressing gown or dress.

Huffington Post Article Kids Parenting

9. They give you a death stare if you ever dare to embarrass them in front of their friends. Example – (heavens forbid!) hugging them, kissing their little cheeks – an off the scale crime.

Huffington Post Article Kids Parenting

10. They have been crying and you are en route somewhere and imminently before arriving they say “Mummy, am I B.L.O.T.C.H.Y?” and then when I say no – although invariably they are – they want to check in the mirror. When they see the truth – they cry harder.

Huffington Post Article Kids Parenting

11. They have a new language. It’s easy to learn. Follow these tips. Add –UH onto any word, and whatever you are saying becomes that bit more dramatic. Examples – “What-UH” “Why-UH did you say-UH..”

Huffington Post Article Kids Parenting

12. When they’re upset and you tell them to calm down they say through floods of tears and a blotchy face they scream “I don’t know how-UH”

Huffington Post Article Kids Parenting

13. After a tiny fall, they look at you for reaction and when that’s not forthcoming, they search their bodies for ouches and show you every single cell that may have been affected. This takes a while. They then go on and on and on about this pain for a very long time – usually until they watch TV or a friend comes over and then POUFF, like magic, it’s gone.

Huffington Post Article Kids Parenting

14. The need for a plaster is greater than a need for food

Huffington Post Article Kids Parenting

15. If something doesn’t quite go their way their mantra is “this is my WORST day E.V.E.R in my WHOLE E.N.T.I.R.E. life” which is funny especially if they are three years old.

Huffington Post Article Kids Parenting

16. After half an hour of television – oh the moods when it’s switched off – you would think they had been sentenced to 24 hours of continuous exams.

Huffington Post Article Kids Parenting

17. They ‘almost’ fall down the stairs and need comforting for ‘shock’.

Huffington Post Article Kids Parenting

18. When they have been caused a grave upset – example – “you moved my L.E.G.O./switched off my M.I.N.E.C.R.A.F.T” and other such heinous parental crimes– they threaten to move out – which with my kids is a joke considering they can’t even dress themselves.

Huffington Post Article Kids Parenting

19. If you’ve nagged them, they scathingly tell you, more than likely with a level 2 eyeroll, that you’ve ‘gone down’ in their chart of top family members.

Huffington Post Article Kids Parenting

20. They suffer from stress. Example “I’ve lost the sellotape from my mini stationary set – I’m SOOO stressed” and then proceed to have a ‘Sellotape mood’.

Huffington Post Article Kids Parenting

21. Last but so not least – the reason I know I have given birth to drama queens is that….of course, they take after me.

How about you?

 

 

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