The Easter feast (er) is almost upon us. I’m in training for it. Every day, I’m eating chocolate. I’m building up my capacity so I can do an entire giant-sized egg on the day. And not want to vomit. I do like to get into the spirit of things. The other thing I like about Easter are all the cutesy wutesy baby fluffy animals associated with it. So let’s talk bunnies. I have something for mummies – admittedly the hipper ones that would not look like a complete idiot wearing this. I definitely would. And something for the girls. Not exactly bunny but something that definitely makes you look like one…
Now I know there is a growing movement about women choosing not to be a mother. There are benefits to not being a mother. Let’s explore a few..
Sleep. Blissful, uninterrupted sleep. Not needing to wipe any bottom – except your own. Your hands – soft – not rough and aged from washing them after touching aforementioned bottoms or grimy kids hands. No one walking in whilst you grab 5 seconds to actually go to the loo screaming “Mummmaaaaay Roxie hitttttt meeeeeeeeee”. Your car, clean – smells fresh – not full of crumbs, vomit or smeary finger-marks. Your jeans, without knee-holes from bending down to pick up someone elses mess. Your tops – embellished with sequins – not drops of baby vomit or smeared toddler food. Your hair – blow dried to within an inch if it’s life – not one hair out of place – and not pulled or so greasy you could cook chips in it. The food you cook, remains on a plate – not liberally littered around the kitchen, getting into places you didn’t even know existed. Your cutlery, gets used – you never have to witness the grossness of eating rice with fingers. Your cloakroom, has coats hanging in it – as opposed to strewn all over the floor after a day of school. Your Sky Box not full to capacity with CBeebies, Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network horrors. Your treat cupboard. What treat cupboard – who can have treats around and keep THIS body looking THIS good? Oh about THE body – no stretch marks, no empty pouches for breasts, no cuts, no stitches, no flapping, overstretched lady-bits. Yes, there are many, many benefits.
BUT, and this is a GIANT BUT – the cuddles, the love, the innocence, the cute things they say, the way they look adoringly at you (unless you have told them off) and much more more MORE – I’m pleased I choose motherhood. Well, either way, I’m knee-deep in it now….
Seriously though – I wouldn’t change it for the world. So to that end Mammas, let us be celebrated on our one day this year – Mother’s Day. And here’s what I propose you deserve.
It’s cold. It’s dark. Winter illnesses are penetrating the super sterile force-field I have tried to build around my house. I need to feel warm. I need to feel comfy. I need valium. Maybe I need to sell my kids? Sorry, I drifted off. Where was I. Oh yes, when the nights are long, cold and dark, we need comfort. And our kids do too. I’m talking hot chocolates, a crackling fireplace, lovely loungewear, and of course, the finishing touch, a great pair of slippers. Stylish ones bien sur. So how excited was I to discover this fab new brand A.Andreassen and doubly so, as we have two pairs to give away!
If it’s good enough for Saint Laurent, it’s good enough for our kids. But of course at a fraction of the price. I’m chatting about the humble bomber jacket.
Here are my top picks for kids!
So as Autumn wraps its cold self around you and your kids – wrap up Saint Laurent style and get busy with bomber jackets.
Poor little Barbie. When I was a kid – she was the best gift any girl could dream of.
Today, however, with apps and iThis’ and iThat’s, rival brands trading on diversity and a backlash against what her supermodel proportioned body is doing for girls’ body image – she’s suffering. Step forward the Fash-pack.
We’ve already covered Jeremy Scott’s Moschino Barbie, and now, the amazing shoe designer Sophia Webster has got in on the action with a Barbie doll and a Barbie capsule shoe collection for women and girls. And it’s pinkalicious and super girlie. Look.